All That Remains
by AerynsFallen
Summary: An AU Artemis/Holly over-sized drabble set after The Last Guardian. Rated T to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**An AU, OOC drabble that's been bugging me since I read an Artemis/Holly fic not too long ago. I say AU and OOC because I never completed the Artemis Fowl series and it's been years since I read any of the books. (The last being _The Opal Deception_) What I gathered from the story line is simply what someone else briefly explained to me. Forgive me my foray into the world of Artemis. I always did like the Holly and Artemis pairing. I'm weird like that, shipping it before there were even hints of romance. Details are a little sketchy so bare with me and keep an open mind. :)**

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She sighed and wondered how many years she would watch him. He was still young, 22 years old. Young enough for a Mud man, barely a child in elf years. How long would she watch as he continuously dated blonde, big-chested pale women that made her sick just to see. They were clearly the opposite of her. She glanced morosely at her own small chest, at her thin tanned hands, fingering her copper strands idly as she daydreamed about what could have been. He was never hers, not really. Not even when their ages had been similar, not even when she'd kissed him, frustrated by hormones and puberty. He'd never once looked at her the way he looked at these other woman. The gleam of mischief replaced by a hint of dark desire, his smirk meant to seduce rather than to antagonize.

She sighed. Artemis was growing into the man she'd glimpsed so many years before, had already become the man that she'd known she would respect. Putting his endless parade of buxom blondes aside, he was mature, and a completely ruthless businessman. Yet he still gave a large portion of his earnings to charities and he firmly set his ruthless nature aside when dealing with his family and friends. Then he became simply Arty, his lopsided smile returning with practiced ease, his eyes warm when he gazed upon his mother, father and twin brothers.

The two sides of himself he kept apart but she loved them both. How could she not? His genius plans, though often morally ambiguous, had saved her skin and many others' skins more times than she could count. And he'd proven in the end that he was capable of being good, capable of sacrificing himself for a cause he deemed worthy. She just wished it didn't hurt so much to see that he'd lost so much of himself in the process.

After his soul had taken hold of his cloned form she had hoped that their lives would go on much the same as before. The two of them sharing a casual familiarity that was underscored by the tension of their mutual attraction. It wasn't what she'd really wanted obviously but it would have been better than what they had now. Which was completely nothing. After telling him the long tale of his past exploits she'd expected him to react in some way. She wouldn't have been surprised if he'd been disbelieving or angry. What she hadn't expected was his courteous but aloof gratitude for filling him in on the years he couldn't recall followed by his abrupt request that she leave him in peace, for good.

It was a slap to the face. She'd wanted to be angry at him, she _was_ angry at him for awhile but then she came to realize that he was right to make a clean break. She'd never told him anything more of their relationship than to say that they were friends and acquaintances. She'd never told him of the confused feelings he provoked anytime he'd shown the smallest amount of affection, even as simple as a warm squeeze of the shoulder or a firm pat on the back. She'd never told him of the times they'd kissed or the fact that she'd once felt the need to clarify that whatever they shared couldn't go beyond the difficult but completely ironclad friendship they shared. She didn't tell him that she realized she loved him the moment before she watched him die, that she'd been half in love with him for years and that she was certain that he held her in a similar regard.

So the Artemis Fowl that had lost his memories looked at her with a distant respect as he explained that their acquaintance seemed to be detrimental to both of them. He couldn't realize that he was breaking her heart as he said goodbye with as much civility as he would show a stranger. And she must have imagined that flicker of gentle concern as she quietly agreed to leave and never return, her face downcast to hide the tears shining in her eyes, her voice hoarse from swallowing back the sobs that threatened to escape her firmly pressed lips.

And so here Holly Short found herself, a mere observer to the life of the man she couldn't help but love. She'd kept in contact with Butler and Juliet and they often urged her to make contact with Artemis. She'd always asked them the same question.

"Does he remember me?" The answer was always the same. He didn't and likely never would. So she would remain his graceful stalker, filled with equal parts shame and elation as she watched him live his life happily without her presence.

And if she was tempted to join him on the nights he stared forlornly into the dark, motionless and contemplative, she refused to bow to the urge. She refused to admit to herself that on those nights, despite the happy laughter that floated from the open doors behind him, that he looked sadder than she'd ever seen him. She refuse to allow herself the hope that he might miss her, despite the fact that he couldn't remember her, that he might feel even a fraction of the emptiness she felt without him by her side.

She continued to watch as he brought woman after woman home, rarely introducing them to anyone he held dear and then watching as they left the way they'd come, wearing the same clothes from the night before and leaving alone in a cab.

She wished him happiness and love and all the things that mudmen often needed to be truly happy. And she swore to herself that she would watch over him until the day he died, years before she did. Because that was love to her, caring when he did not, loving when he could not, living to see his happiness even if it did not include her.

Holly sighed once again, answering her own question silently, and answering another that lie at the back of her mind as well. How long would she watch him? Until the day he died. How long would she love him? Until the day she breathed her last.

**So, what did you think? I cringe at the things I got wrong but I couldn't help myself. I may just have to read the rest of the series to make up for it. I have two other chapters written if anyone is interested. But I'll leave it at this for now. **


	2. Chapter 2

**A new chapter posted from Artemis' POV! Thanks for the kind reviews. A few people asked for a continuation so here you go! Now here is where things might get confusing. In the books, from what I know of Artemis' cloned form, he had the physical appearance of a 15 year old. And by the time he was brought back to life he should have been 19 years old I think. Anyway, bear with me. Holly last seen him when he was 15, and so to her at this point in my AU he's physically 22. (It's been seven years.) But to the rest of the world he should be 26. Yes? Hopefully I didn't lose anyone. **

**I'll just let you read...**

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Artemis Fowl was often described as ruthless, manipulative, and malicious by those who interacted with him in the world of business. And at the same time he was described as warm, helpful and selfless by his family and by the charities he gave to endlessly. He wasn't bothered by the contradicting accounts and no one who cared about him was either. Physically his cloned form was 22 but for all intents and purposes he was 26. And at 26 years old, he was wealthy enough to live comfortably for the rest of his life doing nothing if he chose to. But doing nothing, even relaxing wasn't something he enjoyed. He hated being idle, hated letting his mind rest. When he did find himself with nothing to occupy his time it so often led to thoughts of _her. _The pretty elven woman he'd forced out of his life several years before.

He'd told her it was best for both of them, and surely that wasn't a lie. Not when the simple sight of her made his breath catch in his throat and his heart rate pick up speed. Even though he did not know her, couldn't force himself to remember even the smallest detail of their journey together, he realized that he loved her. It was a frightening feeling, this adoration he felt for the small woman with no memories to base it on. All he knew was that he would do anything Holly Short asked of him, even if it was just to glimpse her smile. And yes he was a different boy then he'd been, less malicious and more compassionate but he still knew enough to realize that she could crush him if she wanted to with one simple rejection. She could break his heart and she would. Nowhere in the description of their relationship did she hint that she returned his feelings and so he surmised that she felt nothing of the same for him.

He remembered enough of himself to know that he needed to quash these feelings before they became obsession. He needed to forget the sight of her face if he was ever to move on. He needed her out of his life. Artemis forced the cool impersonal tone as he thanked her for describing the years that were lost to him. He forced his hands to remain steady, his eyes to remain bored as he calmly asked her to leave him alone. The hurt in her eyes was almost his downfall. He hated to see her dual-colored eyes fill with tears but she didn't protest even as he ached to hear her deny his request. He waited for her to tell him that she wouldn't leave him but all she did was duck her head and speak her goodbye quietly before she turned and flew away.

His life wasn't the same since that moment. He still had dreams of her retreating figure, something inside of him desperate to reach out and call out her name, to beg her to stay. But his dream-self was no different than his waking-self and he relived her departure from his life almost nightly the first few months after he'd returned from the dead.

It wasn't until he'd hit his seventeenth birthday, which was also his twenty-first that he found some measure of a cure for these dreams. His parents had protested vehemently to his plans to go out and get drunk like any young man his age. They knew he wasn't the age his birth certificate proclaimed him to be, even if they were still a little confused over the details. But they were also grateful just to have him back, alive and well under their roof. He explained that despite his physical age he was years above his peers mentally and they'd both reluctantly admitted it was true so he'd left that night with one purpose. To drink the thoughts that plagued him of Holly Short away, at least for a night.

When he'd arrived he found himself surrounded by beautiful women, vying for his attention. It was clear he was wealthy even if they didn't know who he was. He looked young obviously but that didn't seem to bother the women that went to outrageous lengths to gain his attention. And as inebriated as he was, he figured losing himself in another woman was the perfect way to erase Holly from his mind. At first he'd been inclined towards pixie-ish looking women with tanned complexions and slim figures. It wasn't until he had one pressed against a wall, his mouth halfheartedly fused to hers that he realized that he couldn't do this. Not with a woman who resembled her in the least. Because every woman that might remind him of her could not possibly _be_ her and it hurt too much to try and pretend. So he chose what he deemed the opposite, blonde girls with empty thoughts and gleaming eyes. Girls that made it clear what they were after simply by their actions. And it felt good, if not right, to lose himself in them. To be able to turn them away and take one selfish thing for himself in this.

After that his personal lifestyle didn't change. His parents were aware of the women that often visited late at night and left early the next morning. They didn't protest or attempt to discourage his actions, for which he was grateful. But he could see the worry in his mother's eyes and the disappointment in his father's each time he was forced to awkwardly introduce one of his many conquests to them when they didn't leave quick enough.

The only people that seemed willing to talk to him about his loose morals were Butler and his sister Juliet. Of course they also chose to remind him often of the life he still couldn't remember and they were the only ones who dared to mention _her_ name. After his first explosion when his parents brought her up, they had remained determinedly silent on the subject. Artemis loved Butler and Juliet like family but even they had started to mention her less and less as his ire had gotten worse and worse.

It was moments like these, when he had no woman to share his bed, and his thoughts would not remain on business that he found himself wallowing in the brief but clear memory of her face. He always found himself on the balcony at these times, staring sightless into the dark of the night, remembering. The curve of her mouth as she smiled, the straight auburn hair that she tucked behind her ears but stubbornly curled forwards. The sleek elegant line of her pointed ears, her beautiful expressive eyes, one mirroring his own. Her slim, gently curved form. The tears she suppressed as she agreed to leave him forever. The slumped set of her shoulders as she walked away from him, without a single glance behind her. Inevitably everything good he could recall led to the moment that he wished he could forget.

Artemis sighed, for possibly the first time as he thought of Holly. It was a sigh of regret, a sound repressed for so many years that it erupted from his mouth without him even realizing it.

He was startled out of his reverie by an answering sigh, situated somewhere to his right. Immediately his eyes became focused, his mind sharp as he looked for the person who'd intruded on his most private moment. The moment he was most vulnerable.

"Who's there?"

He heard a squeak of dismay and he narrowed his eyes as he searched for the intruder. "Show yourself, or so help me I will find you. And I will ruin you."

It wasn't an empty threat. When he put his mind to something he never gave up. Perhaps this person knew this because he heard another sigh. This one was filled with resignation, different than the previous one and it left his stomach in knots. He felt the night air still in anticipation as the soft flutter of wings moved closer, hesitant.

His eyes searched for the figure, his heart pounding in his chest. He knew who it was, who it must be. He just needed to see her face.

She came into view, her eyes filled with anxiety as she nervously chewed her lip. He felt that this must be a new habit because it was so unfamiliar. He drank in the sight of her even as he did his best to appear aloof. Still, her name escaped his lips without his consent and he felt even a moment of relief. The first time he'd spoken her name in years.

"Holly."

**Thanks for reading! Hopefully you enjoyed!**


	3. Chapter 3

**I'm** **going to post a warning at the beginning of this chapter. _Extremely uncharacteristic fluffiness ahead_! I really got carried away on this one. So much so I cringe at my own amounts of sickening sweetness. But it's a new chapter and a resolution so I'm posting before I delete it and start again. (That would take a few months at my pace.) Hopefully you guys don't mind too much. **

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She heard her name from his lips and her hands shook in reaction. He remembered her at least, just a little. But his face was so impassive, his eyes dark and empty. Was he angry at her? She'd promised to never return. But he'd sighed and the exhalation had sounded so lonely, had struck a chord with her own empty desolation that she'd heard her own sigh before she realized what was happening.

Holly watched him with open apprehension, her eyes wide with fear. Would he break her heart again with his indifference? Would he yell, or banish her from his presence with cold disdain? She waited anxiously for his reaction.

"Holly. What are you doing here?" His voice was flat, devoid of any emotion and it scared her.

"I-I just..." What did she just? She just... "I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay." She felt a need to defend herself as she looked into his dark empty eyes. "We were friends once. Just because you forgot about me doesn't mean I did the same." And the fear was slowly being replaced by indignation. Only Artemis could turn her into this mess of emotions and insecurities. Only Artemis could make her doubt herself. He'd already broken her heart once, the worst he could do now was bruise her ego. And she wasn't about to let him see her cry.

She opened her mouth to unleash her building anger on him when he held up a hand to stop her. She wanted to talk over his silent command, wanted to show him that she didn't listen to him anymore. But the look in his eye stopped her.

"And why would you choose to remember?"

The simple question left her speechless. The look in his eye was vulnerable, his eyes imploring her to answer. She felt like he'd bared himself to her for the first time with only a look. And that he was looking for some sort of reassurance. But she didn't know what he wanted reassurance for. Was he angry she was here? Did he want her here?

"Why would I...?" Her lips pursed and she chose her words carefully. She couldn't reveal too much of herself, of her feelings for the mudman. But she needed closure. Maybe then she'd stop watching his life from the shadows. "You've forgotten everything about us, everything about _me_ and maybe that's for the best, as you said. Maybe it's best that we parted ways. But I haven't forgotten anything. I haven't forgotten that you initially captured me, held me hostage and tried to bargain for my freedom." Holly continued despite Artemis' flinch. "I haven't forgotten when you died, or the grief I felt the moment I realized that I would never see you again. I haven't forgotten the joy I felt when I realized that I could save you. That you weren't lost to me forever." Her breath hitched. "And I haven't forgotten all the times in between, good and bad, whether it was best we met or not. You weren't a good person when we met. But you're not a bad one now, and I like to think that I had something to do with that." She paused, searching his face for any reaction but his eyes stayed imploring, his expression impassive. "I like to think that despite your amnesia that some part of you remembers, some part of you_ knows _that despite how unlikely it was, you were my best friend. That I would have been there for every moment if you'd asked me, that once, you would have been there for me when I needed, despite your nature. I still care about you. I will _always _care about you, and no amount of demands on your part can change that. So I come to see how you are, I come to make sure you're happy. Because for the most part, I am. There's this hole in my life filled with all the moments we shared together, all the adventures you dragged me on and it's empty without you. But I think that as long as you're happy I can cope. I can fill it with other things." _Liar, liar Holly. There was nothing that could fill that bottomless ache. But make him believe. Make him think you don't need him, because he doesn't need you. _"So are you?"

He was silent for so long that Holly wasn't sure he'd heard her question. She repeated herself with a shaking voice. "Are you, Artemis?"

He seemed to come out of whatever stupor held him and raised an eyebrow in query. "Am I what?"

Holly sighed. "Are you happy, Artemis? I promise, I'll leave and this time for good. But I need to know. Because most of the time I think you are. I watch you live your life, keeping your family happy, but always at a distance. I watch the women you bring home, the way you charm them into your beds but push them out of your life just as easily without a backwards glance. I watch the joy you put on people's faces with every charitable donation. I watch the envy on the faces of people that despise you for your good fortune. And I see the smile on your face every time you make a wish come true, or you give something to your family or friends. But I also see the nights you spend on the balcony, the nights you look into the darkness with a look of defeat that breaks my heart. And I wonder if you are happy."

Artemis started to think. Holly could see the wheels turning in his head and it gladdened her to see that he was giving her question some real thought. She was hopeful and damned herself for the traitorous emotion. But she couldn't be anything but hopeful after he hadn't turned her away or laughed at what she'd said. So she waited for his response knowing whatever he said would direct the course of her life. If he wanted to he could put up anti-elf wards at his home and office. He could find ways to keep her away and she would stay away this time. But what would happen if he thought of her words and realized that he wasn't happy? How would she factor into his thoughts then?

Finally Artemis spoke. "And why would anything I do break your heart, Holly Short? Why do you need to see that I am happy? _Why does it matter_?"

Of course he'd avoided her question. She should have expected that. But if she answered his questions it meant just a few moments more in his presence. "I've told you. You are my best friend."

Artemis sighed and dismissed the answer with a wave of his hand. "I had a best friend at the private school I attended. I saved his life and he was indebted to me. I hardly know where he lives now. Of course the nature of our relationship would be more complex than the one I shared with Bobby Trent in school but the mechanics remain the same. Best friends are not _forever,_ despite what the adage says. People grow up, grow apart, lead different lives and move on from the relationships they had in their youth. My question to you is why are we different? Why is it that you feel the need to check up on me so often and why does my happiness matter so much to you? It can't be simply friendship. It _can't _be, not when I feel-" And he stopped, his expression shutting down.

Holly could feel her heart in her throat, silently begging him to finish his sentence. He felt what?_ It can't __be__simply__ friendship_. His words running through her head endlessly. If it wasn't friendship, then what was it to him? It was time to lay out her feelings for him to see. And the certainty of his rejection terrified her. But she needed closure. And clearly so did he.

"I love you." Artemis' face drained of color, his already pallid complexion turning bone white at her words. But she pressed on determinedly. "I _love _you, Artemis and I'm not going to stop. I've tried so hard to shove these feelings down deep and forget them but I can't. It doesn't work that way. Not for an elf and probably not for a human. So yes, I do need to know you are happy because it makes it easier to move on."

"So that's it? You love me, but you've given up? You love me but you want to move on? You love me but you want to forget? I think I liked it better when I thought you were simply a friend." His words were calculated to hurt her and they did. But she knew him, whether he wished to believe that or not. So Holly reacted in anger rather than burst into tears.

"Don't be obtuse, Artemis! You're twisting my words around to suit your perspective of the world. In your world there is no possibility that an elf could love a human. Your pessimistic and manipulative but I know that. I still love you and I think that somewhere in that thick skull of yours you missed me. And maybe you don't love me but I missed us. I missed our adventures, I missed the trouble we got into but I missed you most of all. I missed your smile. I missed your attitude. I missed your quips and sarcastic remarks. I missed the feeling I get every time I'm near you and I missed hiding everything I've ever felt for you because it was easier. Because if you never knew I loved you then you would never run away. And I'd have my best friend by my side always, even if I had to watch you get married and have children and grow old and I would have to see you die, again. It would be worth it to know that you lived a good life, that you were happy. Because that is love Artemis. It isn't selfish, it isn't self-serving, it doesn't give you anything but heartache. But I wouldn't change you for the world." And now she was close to tears after that emotional outburst. Artemis was watching her with wide eyes.

She stared at him, defeat written in the slumped line of her shoulders, in the tears shining in her eyes, in the quivering of her lips as she held back sobs. She waited for his disgust. She waited for his confusion or his amusement or his anger. She didn't expect what he did, not in her wildest dreams.

She was floating two feet from him when he grabbed her shoulders and pulled her towards him. Her breath escaped in a surprised yelp as he tilted his face and captured her lips with his own. It was a desperate kiss filled with everything he'd ever felt but suppressed. It was meant to show her how he felt, to tell her without words the yawning ache he'd held inside without her. And as they kissed all of his earlier insecurities were lost under the weight of evidence. Holly loved him. The pretty little elven woman who'd haunted his dreams and thoughts for so long actually loved him.

And something short of a miracle happened. Something that meant no less to him than his rebirth. Artemis Fowl _remembered_. He remembered everything she'd never told him. The kisses they shared, her earlier rejection of him, her dates with Trouble Kelp and the jealousy it had inspired in him. He remembered thinking that if his plan worked, _when _his plan worked he would tell her what he felt. He would tell her that he knew what she felt for him. And everything would fall into place like he wanted it to. He would figure out the age difference. He would figure out how to stay with her as long as he could. He would find out if they could have children. He would give her anything she wanted if she just agreed to stay with him, to love him even a fraction as much as he loved her. And if she did that, he would be happy.

He thought it would be foolproof. He just hadn't counted on his own nature backfiring on him. He needed to fix this. So he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers.

"To answer your question. No, I wasn't happy. I used to dream of you leaving and it drove me mad. I pushed you away because I loved you. I pushed you away because you're right. I'm pessimistic and I didn't believe that you could possibly love me. I'm sorry Holly. I know what makes me happy. My family and charities make me happy. But you make me the happiest."

Holly's eyes were filled with tears and for a moment he wasn't sure why she was crying. She let him know a moment later when she kissed him.

"I love you Artemis."

"I love you too Holly. I promise I'll spend every minute of the rest of my life trying to make up for my years of neglect."

Holly's mischievous smile made his chest ache, set his heart racing. "I don't need you to make it up to me. But I wouldn't say no to a little Artemis pampering. When will I have this chance again?" Holly smirked and grabbed his hand, leading him back to his room.

***cringes again after rereading* What the hell did I just write? Sorry guys! Thanks for all the support. I really want to post an epilogue in Butler's POV at some point. I mean, no one else got to see them get together! Let me know what you think! I can rewrite if you reaaally want. **


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